This was posted on Facebook by a friend of my wife and I. I felt it was the best description I had ever heard of what a real marriage should be. I felt compelled to share it here. With her permission of course.
I have had a few questions in regard to my 33 year relationship with my husband Steve. Questions like,”How do you make a relationship last for 33 years and do you mind sharing your tip?” I am happy to share but let me preface that I don’t consider myself an expert by any means. We don’t think we have arrived. We are still on this journey, which leads me to
Commitment…Our relationship is built on commitment. Love is not a feeling. Feelings will fail you. Love is an action…, a commitment. There have been days over the last 33 years we were just not feeling the love. Can you relate?! On those sleepless nights with a sick baby crying all night, those days with more bills than money, the days when Steve was gone out of town for work and everything tore up, including the car! You may have been there too. On those days it would have been easy to quit because we weren’t feeling the love. Feelings will fail you. Feelings will lead you to make poor decisions when you are having a bad day. Commitment is the anchor that will weather the storm. It is the glue that will hold you together! Feelings tell you to flee–Commitment says leaving is not an option. We have chosen commitment!
I have learned that I am responsible for my actions not his. It is so easy to get caught up in what your spouse should and shouldn’t be doing rather than looking at your own responsibilities! My go to verse is Proverbs 31:12. ” She does him good and not evil all the days of her life.”
That is my responsibility, to do him good and not evil. Girls lets talk… We can do some evil with our tongue, right? Is my husband perfect? No and neither am I. We are two imperfect people trying to build a life together. I am responsible for my actions not his. I have found when I work on my job of doing him good,which fills his love tank, it spills over to me. The fact is, even if it doesn’t, It is my responsibility to do him good! As a side note…while you are doing good on those days you are not feeling the love, it is ok to ask God to work on repairing the man He created. haha. I really have to asked God to work on me, to help me do good and to meet Steve’s needs. Which leads me to…we have committed our relationship to God. He is the center of our marriage. God is the only perfect one in this relationship! God says His mercies are new ever morning! He knows we need that because we mess up everyday. The good news is, if you are reading this and have experienced a failed marriage or feel you have messed up, God is the God of second chances, even 3rd and 4th chances. How comforting to know that! That should give us all great hope!
These 33 years have been filled with blessing and challenges. Some days have been tough but oh so worth it!! Our marriage has been the greatest blessing of my life! I would do it all over again!